Is it just me, or has there an increase in telemarketing calls recently? Maybe I got put onto some lists by virtue of my appearance at the CRTC telemarketing proceeding last May. I don’t think any new rules will help other than chasing call centre jobs out of Canada. But that decision was made in Parliament.

While I was at the gym this past week, we had some ideas about how to deal with those pesky telemarketing calls. Given that the discussion took place in a gym environment, the actual proposals have been laundered for publication.

Whenever the phone rings with ‘that dead-air silence’ at the other end of the phone, get ready to deliver one of the following lines as soon as the marketer comes on the line:

• Your call may be monitored for quality assurance. Have we answered all your questions in a satisfactory manner?
• Can you speak slower? What are you wearing? Have you been naughty?
• Can you clean up blood stains? Lots and lots of blood. Carpet, walls, the trunk of my car?

Let me know how these work. Your ideas are welcome.

Yesterday, Michael Sabia signalled the end of Bell Canada’s Jean Monty convergence strategy. Monty’s approach was a natural extension of A. J. de Grandpre’s initial diversification of the phone company, that created BCE and took Bell into such ventures as real estate and pipelines. In announcing its contraction into the income trust, with its renewed focus on core telecommunications, Michael Sabia was quoted as saying:

The elimination of BCE is a further step in our plan to focus on Bell and our communications operations. That is the business we know. That is the business we will stick to.

On the other hand, GE and NBC seem to be taking integration to a new level. I tuned into 30Rock, NBC’s latest insider view of TV and saw how the GE / NBC / Universal empire plans to monetize their assets in the emerging video-on-demand and download era.

Alec Baldwin, in the role of Jack Donaghy, claims to have been promoted to his position of network executive because he introduced the GE Trivection oven: “Trivection technology achieves the delicate balance of heat and time by combining thermal, convection and microwave heating methods”. Jack claims “it can cook a turkey in 22 minutes” although the GE website only claims a 22 pound turkey can be cooked in 2 hours.

It is product placement to the extreme. I felt like I was watching weekend cartoons – 30 minute commercials for the action figures, and then realized the advertiser (GE) owns the network (NBC) and created a show about a fictional NBC TV show, but having the script prominently feature an oven made by GE.

NBC offers many of their new shows by download, including complete episodes of some. The 30Rock download opens with a commercial for ‘Man of the Year’, a Robin Williams film released by Universal – of course, another part of the empire.

I have been writing about disruptive TV bypassing broadcast networks. Content developers are finding ways to reach the new markets.

Jean Monty looked into the future and saw convergence. GE/NBC is demonstrating convergence to the max.

As was anticipated by some, Bell Canada has followed TELUS in turning the entire company into an income trust, winding down BCE and simplifying its corporate structure.

The BCE holding company was originally created as a way to work around CRTC rate regulation, moving unregulated operations out of the telco and into separate structures.

Now, to increase the dividend payouts (almost doubling from $1.32 to $2.55) and thereby juice the stock price, BCE is being unwound, following TELUS’ lead from exactly a month ago.

Two questions: what does all this mean for customers; and is there still a good reason to maintain the financial and operational complexities in Bell Aliant?